Hater Playerz: Una Pizza

My friend Naph just moved into a new apartment right above Una Pizza Napoletana. This place is supposed to be one of the best pizza joints in the city, so naturally I wanted to test it out. The restaurant had taken a month long vacation in August and was just back in full-swing. They are known for their wood-fired brick oven and studiously executed tradition techniques acquired from the birthplace of pizza: Napoli, Italy.

With rave reviews from all over the place I was truly excited. Unfortunately, my excitement quickly faded. They are so exclusive that they only serve four types of pies, and that is the extent of their menu. I can live with that, we all know how much stock people take in limited edition anything. Maybe it was a mistake to order it to go, but the supposed 35 minute bake time quickly turned to 55. The pizza (they don't serve it by the slice) was ridiculously expensive ie 22 bucks. As we saw a pie come out of the oven and served to a salivating table, I was even more disappointed. The 22 bucks is spent on what turned out to be one of those personal pizzas; about 8 inches in diameter. We thought about going to get a regular slice to kill time and hunger. I was trying to have dinner here, not an appetizer.

When we finally received our prize, it came in a custom brown cardboard box with their refined insignia tastefully printed on the corner. However when we opened it up, we realized it was just an inside-out regular pizza box replete with the standard "hot fresh pizza" across the inside. Fine, that's still clever. But then the actual test came, and the first bite did not live up to my high expectations, nor did the second.

The New York Magazine says "this is unlike any other pizza in the city and maybe even in Naples". Wrong! While I respect them for trying to recreate the simplicity and classic Neapolitan pizza, I think they miss the mark. At least with this pie. When I was in Italy a few years ago, I made a point of going to Napoli and going to three of the "best" pizza joints in the world. Granted these were in the guide books, and one even proudly sported pictures of Bill Clinton, slice in hand, these restaurants were not just amazing because of the fantasy created by locale. The cheese was a perfect pulled taffy, the tomato just thick enough, and the crust, that divinely leavened thing, exquisitely dancing on the line of cloud-like doughiness and crunch.

Una Pizza Napoletana completely missed the dough mark. It was undercooked. And while extremely thin, horrifyingly more like Domino's than like Pizzeria Cacialli in downtown Naples. What's so great about New York pizza is that there's a decent slice around every corner, an amazing one every few blocks. I think I'll stick with corner, even if the oven isn't wood-fired.