Hater Playerz: Una Pizza

My friend Naph just moved into a new apartment right above Una Pizza Napoletana. This place is supposed to be one of the best pizza joints in the city, so naturally I wanted to test it out. The restaurant had taken a month long vacation in August and was just back in full-swing. They are known for their wood-fired brick oven and studiously executed tradition techniques acquired from the birthplace of pizza: Napoli, Italy.

With rave reviews from all over the place I was truly excited. Unfortunately, my excitement quickly faded. They are so exclusive that they only serve four types of pies, and that is the extent of their menu. I can live with that, we all know how much stock people take in limited edition anything. Maybe it was a mistake to order it to go, but the supposed 35 minute bake time quickly turned to 55. The pizza (they don't serve it by the slice) was ridiculously expensive ie 22 bucks. As we saw a pie come out of the oven and served to a salivating table, I was even more disappointed. The 22 bucks is spent on what turned out to be one of those personal pizzas; about 8 inches in diameter. We thought about going to get a regular slice to kill time and hunger. I was trying to have dinner here, not an appetizer.

When we finally received our prize, it came in a custom brown cardboard box with their refined insignia tastefully printed on the corner. However when we opened it up, we realized it was just an inside-out regular pizza box replete with the standard "hot fresh pizza" across the inside. Fine, that's still clever. But then the actual test came, and the first bite did not live up to my high expectations, nor did the second.

The New York Magazine says "this is unlike any other pizza in the city and maybe even in Naples". Wrong! While I respect them for trying to recreate the simplicity and classic Neapolitan pizza, I think they miss the mark. At least with this pie. When I was in Italy a few years ago, I made a point of going to Napoli and going to three of the "best" pizza joints in the world. Granted these were in the guide books, and one even proudly sported pictures of Bill Clinton, slice in hand, these restaurants were not just amazing because of the fantasy created by locale. The cheese was a perfect pulled taffy, the tomato just thick enough, and the crust, that divinely leavened thing, exquisitely dancing on the line of cloud-like doughiness and crunch.

Una Pizza Napoletana completely missed the dough mark. It was undercooked. And while extremely thin, horrifyingly more like Domino's than like Pizzeria Cacialli in downtown Naples. What's so great about New York pizza is that there's a decent slice around every corner, an amazing one every few blocks. I think I'll stick with corner, even if the oven isn't wood-fired.

DEXTER!!!

Television is pretty damn good right now. But the past few years, my favorite show besides The Wire has definitely been Dexter. And I'm going to throw this out there: the opening credits of Dexter may be the best opening sequence I've ever seen. And it never gets old. For perfection of the art form please watch the following:



The first episode of season III aired last night and I was not disappointed. Especially after the opening, I mean, has the morning ritual ever been so diabolically erotic? Will you ever think about a blood orange in quite the same way?

Avec Eric

The photogenic Eric Ripert is the head chef at Le Bernardin, one of four restaurants in New York to be awarded the maximum 3 stars from Michelin. Over the summer, he started the website Avec Eric, which is frankly money. Basically, he posts simple recipes that can all be made in a toaster-oven set to broil (although I use an actual broiler). It's brilliant; he gets sponsored by Cuisinart's high end toaster to bring such venerable dishes as quail and smoked salmon toasts to the common man. While I have yet to make that, last night I made his Roasted Bananas to go along with a roast chicken I had cooking. Literally: so simple and delicious!

Roasted Bananas with Rosemary
1 tablespoon softened butter
3 finger bananas, peeled
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 small sprig of fresh rosemary
2 tablespoons bourbon or whiskey
fine sea salt
fresh ground black pepper

1. Heat toaster oven to broil.
2. Slice bananas in half lengthwise and arrange in a single layer on the tray.
3. Season with salt and pepper.
4. Brush the bananas with soft butter and maple syrup.
5. Sprinkle with the whole rosemary leaves.
6. Broil for about 3-4 minutes until the bananas are lightly caramelized, finish lightly with whiskey or bourbon.

Other dishes from his collections I've made are equally easy and tasty: Parmesan Zucchini with Balsamic; Herb Roasted Chicken Tenders; Broiled Red Snapper Fillets. Go check it out.

Brilliant

Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin is perhaps the most influential gastronome to have ever written. The Frenchman's "The Physiology of Taste" was published in 1825 and since then, many a writer has turned to him for guidance. Here is a brief gem from the famed epicure:

“The discovery of a new dish does more for the happiness of the human race than the discovery of a star.”

Beat Rushdie

Rosti is a potato dish from Switzerland made by grating potatoes and then frying them in patties, much akin to the infamous Potato Latke. The other day in the New York Times, Mark Bittman introduced a recipe for Beet Rosti which I tried out last night. It was extremely easy and remarkably delicious. I have an underutilized Rosemary bush in my apartment and the herb really makes the dish, adding a complexity to the sweetness of the beets.

BEET ROSTI WITH ROSEMARY
Time: 30 minutes

2 pounds beets (3 very large or 4 to 6 medium)
2 teaspoons coarsely chopped fresh rosemary
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1/2 cup flour
2 tablespoons butter
Minced parsley or a few rosemary leaves for garnish.

1. Trim beets, and peel them as you would potatoes; grate them in food processor or by hand. Begin preheating 12-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat.
2. Toss grated beets in bowl with rosemary, salt and pepper. Add about half the flour; toss well, add rest of flour, and toss again.
3. Put butter in skillet; heat until it begins to turn nut-brown. Scrape beet mixture into skillet, and press with spatula to form a round. With medium to medium-high heat -- the pancake should gently sizzle -- cook, shaking pan occasionally, until bottom of cake is nicely crisp, 8 to 10 minutes. Slide cake onto a plate, top with another plate, invert the two plates, and return cake to pan. Keep cooking, adjusting heat if necessary, until other side is browned, another 10 minutes or so. Garnish, cut into wedges, and serve hot or at room temperature.

Aphrodisiac

A British company named Pomegreat just came out with a provocative new ad campaign for its pomegranate drink line. Sex sells, and if your product is known for an ancient sensuality I guess you go for broke. Why didn't POM think of this? I guess they decided to rest their laurels on the fruit's hip nutritional value: anti-oxidants are pretty hot right now, but don't catch the eye like this:


I, for one, would have based my advertisements on the Jewish tradition that teaches that the pomegranate is a symbol for righteousness. The Fruit is said to have 613 seeds which corresponds with the 613 mitzvot or Commandments in the Bible.

(This is a Botticelli by the way; its beauty outweighs its anachronism)

Pickled Brothers

Living 2 blocks away from the Brooklyn Flea has its perks. Any Sunday the feeling suits me, I can roll out of bed and check out the artisanal fare at the hippest flea market I've ever been to. From bracelets made out of old vinyl to hand-drawn postcards, the Brooklyn Flea is a veritable goldmine of what Sam Han calls "the temptations of pop culture, consumerism, decadence and the desire for bourgeois ideals" wrapped in the trappings of a medieval fair. Unable to resist these temptations, I still marvel at this 'flea market' and what it has done to the traditional notion of a meeting point where inexpensive second-hand goods are sold (or bartered). You won't find too many bargains here - one could walk to the Salvation Army just a few blocks east, but there is a sense that the hip vendors have already done this, found the coolest shirts and skirts and it is sooo totally worth it to buy the vintage fill-in-the-blank from them for an astronomical mark-up. Nowhere in Fort Greene is there more evidence of what Frederic Jameson describes as "the frantic economic urgency of producing fresh waves of ever more novel-seeming goods"*. And most of what's for sale is thoroughly part of this commodity market.

But I digress. While I don't deny my own susceptibility to this culture, I will say that by far my favorite thing at the Flea is the food. They have brought some of the famed Red Hook vendors here to sell their Papusas and Huaraches. And it is these in which I most indulge (more on them some other time). Yesterday, however, my attention was focused on the McClure's Pickle stand and its fine selection of samples. McClure's Pickles was started up by two brothers who now stock numerous fine food emporiums across the country, including a personal Boston favorite of mine, Formaggio's Kitchen in Cambridge. Their pickles come in two varieties: Spicy and Garlic Dill. And along with the jars of pickles, they also sell relish. I'm happy to say that yesterday I bought a jar of spicy relish for 5 bucks and will be applying it liberally to sandwiches and omelettes henceforth.



*this is what y'all get when I read Navigating Technomedia on the train to work

Vodka Pipeline

Smugglers built a 2-kilometre pipeline through a reservoir that marks the Russian-Estonian border, and managed to pump 6,200 litres of vodka across before getting caught. Full story here.

Ancient Mutant Figs

A few years ago, anthropologists discovered figs buried in the ruins of an 11,400-year-old house near the ancient city of Jericho. This suggests that cultivated crops came centuries before the first farmers planted cereal grains because this particular fig tree isn't pollinated by insects and won't reproduce unless someone takes a cutting and plants it. If that isn't an argument for the earth to keep humans around, I don't know what is. Read (or listen to) the brief NPR article here.

The Mars Volta spell funny

Last night at the Mars Volta show at the Hammerstein Ballroom, Cedric Bixler Zavala looked out at the crowd and asked, "How do you spell New York?" to his adoring fans. I didn't know any other way to spell it, but moments later Cedric started chanting "A knife and a fork, a bottle and a cork: THAT'S THE WAY YOU SPELL NEW YORK". Pretty soon he had the whole place going nuts chanting. I really began to believe that this was in fact the best way to signify the city. My brother later explained that Cedric was quoting the 70's reggae star, Dillinger. However, much more recognizable was his quote later in the night, "All around the world today, the Kilo is the measure, A Kilo is a thousand grams, it's easy to remember" which is a sample from a Ghostface Killah song. Listen to the original here:

Jimmy Van & Richard Heironymous - I Weigh With Kilos

Rotten Apple

Nutraceuticals (Strawberry-Kiwi Baked Ziti)

Orange juice laced with Anchovies? Kinda. In today's New York Times, Julia Moskin examines Nutraceuticals, or ingredients derived from food for a particular health benefit (like Omega-3 fatty acids you get from anchovies). Modern technology allows us to separate the nutrition of some beneficial plant, animal or bacteria and stick it in some other food for purposes of 'fortification'. This is nothing brand new per se, but the make-up of some new foods definitely begs questioning. Is it weird to have powdered beets in that jar of peanut butter? or Am I really eating anchovies when I drink this O.J. because they've neutralized the fish taste and the nutraceuticals are good for me? As Moskin writes:

"Are we really that close to a world in which food functions as a nutrient delivery system, made possible by microencapsulation and fine-spray coating? And what would this mean for food and human nutrition?"

First off, food has always functioned as a way for us to gain nutrients. But Moskin does make an interesting point, one that makes me think of a futuristic space travel diet where you pop a pill that gives you everything you need to survive. Yet at the same time, we are seeing a trend towards locally grown, organic foods. However, to be able to invest in this trend, you must have enough money to spend on higher priced organics. In the end, the average American family is going to eat what's in the supermarket and if that's full of nutraceuticals that big industrial food corporations are pushing, then our food will be pushed even further from nature. It certainly makes you feel like you should be mindful of what you're putting in your body.

Check out the whole article here.

Also, how cool is this illustration (it was published with the article) by Thomas Herpich. He is on point!

Another:

The Rastafarian Turnip

Celeriac, otherwise known as Celery Root, is one ugly looking vegetable. In fact, I'm not even going to show you what it looks like. A kind description would be that it looks like some natty dreads on top of a potato. Anyway, let me tell you: this is one bad ass root. Plus, Celery as a flavor is quite unique and I think maybe under-utilized. However, I recently found an excellent example of its charm:

Living in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, I'm trying to get a sense of the area and all its culinary offerings. Right across from BAM there's this place called Thomas Beisl, a Viennese Bistro. The story goes that the chef, Thomas Ferlesch, who got four stars from the New York Times back in the 80's, decided to come to Brooklyn and open up a neighborhood joint. The restaurant has a good vibe, with German beers, and a nice deck, but what makes it stand out is the Celeriac Schnitzel.

I'd heard of Wiener Schnitzel before and I would have expected it from an Austrian spot, but Celery Root schnitzelized was something new. Being a root vegetable with that very specific celery flavor and then being fried is a good look for this ugly guy. The dish is complimented by a cucumber salad, a potato salad and a nice dipping sauce akin to a tartar. I had very few complaints. And then hopped across the street to BAM for a movie.

Free Food in Brooklyn

The restaurants and wine shops on 7th Ave. in Park Slope are doing something crazy this Thursday (9/18): giving away food and drink. There are over 30 businesses participating so I figure you could almost make a meal out of it. It's part of a 'support local business' initiative and looks like good wholesome fun, except at Timbo's Bar on 5th Ave. where there will be "Miller Lite Girls from 8:00-9:30". More info here.

Closet Carnivore

This is brilliant. So brilliant that I was severely disappointed to learn that this was actually a marketing ploy of Wendy's under the guise of a website they launched call Meatatarians Unite!

I have to hand it to them though, the video is perfect fodder for a viral marketing campaign. And look at me, just helping them out, enabling the video's corrupting sensibilities.

me&me's

The great great grandchild of Johann Gutenberg and Forrest Mars Sr. was recently born. Now, through the brilliance of modern technology, you can actually go online and create your very own custom M&M's. We should all be excited, especially if you like chocolate or looking at yourself (but preferably both). In an excellent Op-Ed, Roger Cohen enlightens us about super-premium products, the hollowing out of the middle class, and most importantly about this "act in which narcissism and individualization merge. Yum." And I thought it was cool when you could dress up in wild west fashion and they'd take a sepia-colored picture of you. You can make your own M&M's here. But be forewarned, you might also have to choose something witty to write on the back that's under 8 letters.

Served Straight Up

I've gotten more and more into cooking these days. The temptation to go out for dinner or order in is ever present when the full gamut of cuisines is around almost every corner, but I try to resist. I'd say I cook dinner about three times a week. I love the whole process; from creating a menu, to picking out produce, to serving it up. Or even just looking in the fridge and throwing something together. The trick is to make it easy and tasty, to establish an arsenal of dishes that never take more than a half hour to put on the table. And even though food on plate is gone in five, it feels good in the belly, good in the head.

Sometimes the work grind sucks the life out of things and there just isn't enough time at the end of the day to chill, to be creative, to go for drinks, to whatever. But cooking is creating, so I don't mind putting the energy into it. Sesame Tooth is about cooking, restaurants and food's place in culture, and I'll probably throw in some simple recipes here and there that have worked for me. Enjoy!